I am divorced four years now and in that time I had only one e relationship that ended badly when she had to accept that genger disphoria is real. In my 42 years thoes r my only real attempts at a relationship. I have always fantasized that I could have been born a girl and life would have made so much more sense. I have known that there was something wrong with me and I thought I would have to suffer the rest of my life hiding who I really am. Stuck in this body that has never been right. 42 years and it still feels forin. I dress with the lights out and I have a hard time around mirrors. I learned a few months ago that there is nothing wrong with my thinking. In fact there really is something wrong with my body. I have gender dysphoria and I know I should have been born a girl and it's not out of reach. My body can be fixed and I could live the rest of my life the woman I have always been on the inside, and actually make a life in the body that fits. I don't really know where to start it's all so crazy and a bit overwhelming. I do know that I want to meet people who understand my struggle and what I feel I need to do. I know that in the months to come I will need the support of a friend. I also need to have romance in my life. Love and companionship r what I have always desired and I desperately want to give but they just couldn't exist right for me while I had to pretend to be someone I was not. So as u can see, I'm kind of a mess and probably not even prepared emotionaly to step into the dating world. Although how hard can it be? I finally get to just be myself and start to figure out who I am. I guess I want mostly to feel accepted and have someone to share my life with and I didn't know where else to go. So here i am. I love to cook, take long drives and long walks. I love the outdoors and camping. I also plan to live near the ocean. I love music, love songs and Nicholas Sparks movies. I also love to dance and every once in a while in the early morning, I can be caught in the kitchen or out on my deck dancing half naked in the dark. Jamming out, just me and The Boss or who ever else that comes out of my radio and makes me feel free if only for a few min. ( I know I have so much more but I think that is a good start so I'm going to stop here for now.)